In short: Some words weaken what you say. Superlatives such as amazing ask the room to take your word for it. Intensifiers and -ly words such as really and absolutely usually add nothing. Jargon shuts out people outside your field. Read your script aloud, mark each one, and replace it with a specific fact or a plain word.
Credibility is lost one word at a time. A room will forgive a dull sentence. It is less forgiving of a sentence that claims more than it shows. Four groups of words cause most of the trouble.
Superlatives
"Amazing", "world-class" and "the best" are claims with nothing behind them. The room cannot check them, so it discounts them. Replace the adjective with the thing it stands for. Say what the kit does, what the team did, or what the client noticed. If you have no specific fact, cut the claim and keep the sentence.
Intensifiers and -ly words
"Really", "very", "absolutely" and "particularly" are crutches. Present Yourself guidance is to cut the -ly adverbs first. Test any one of them by deleting it. If the sentence is still true, the word was doing nothing.
Fluff
Phrases such as "I would like to share with you" or "I am going to tell you a story" delay the point. Drop the pretext and the preview, and begin with the content. The guidance on this is blunt: just begin. The first sentence sets the tone for everything after it, so check it first.
Jargon
Every field has words that feel precise to insiders and vague to everyone else. Test your jargon on a friend from outside the field. If they have to ask what a term means, rewrite the sentence.
Steps
- Read the script aloud, slowly, from start to finish.
- Mark every superlative, intensifier, -ly word and piece of jargon.
- For each one, ask what the specific version would be.
- Cut first. Where the sentence still needs something, add the specific fact or example.
- Give the revised script to one listener outside your field and ask what they did not follow.
A worked example
Here is an invented sentence of the kind that needs fixing: "I would like to share with you an absolutely amazing result from a really tricky shoot." Cut the fluff and the superlatives, and it becomes: "This was a tricky shoot, and the result was the one the client wanted." The second version still makes the point, and the room can believe it.
Common mistakes
- Replacing "amazing" with "incredible". The fault lies in the claim the word makes.
- Cutting so hard that the talk loses its warmth. Keep the sentences human.
- Vagueness dressed up as modesty. "Quite a lot of people" is no better than a superlative. Use the figure, or leave the claim out.
For the tone that follows from this, see writing for the ear and WIIFM: why should anyone watch?. For openings without the padding, see fifty ways to open.
Related guides
- Hook, Message, Recap, Call to action: the HMRC structure
- Fifty ways to open (hooks that work)
- How to end: bookends, loops, last lines
- Writing for the ear: short sentences, short words
- WIIFM: why should anyone watch your talk or video?
- All guides and tools
The picture at the top of this page is an illustration, not a photograph of a client or a real job.
Questions we get asked
Which words make a presentation sound less credible?
Superlatives such as amazing and world-class, intensifiers such as really and very, -ly adverbs such as absolutely, and jargon that outsiders cannot follow. Each one asks the room to trust a claim rather than seeing the evidence.
How do I cut jargon from a talk?
Test the script on someone outside your field. Anywhere they stop to ask what a word means, rewrite the sentence in the words you would use at a kitchen table.
Are -ly words always bad in a presentation?
Not always, but many add nothing. Delete the word and read the sentence again. If it is still true and still clear, the word was a crutch.
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